As you can probably guess from some of my blog posts, I’m a big proponent of practicing good self-care. And there are many different ways we can practice self-care; regular exercise, meditation, a healthy diet, and one of my personal favorites (and the subject of my REST blog post)- a habit of good sleep. But over the years, I have come to realize there is another really important aspect of self-care that many of us don’t exercise frequently enough that is critical not only to our health but to our enjoyment of our lives, and that is practicing healthy boundaries with unhealthy people.
Summer is supposed to be the most relaxed time of the year and for many of us the time of year when we can enjoy vacation time with our kids. But planning summer day trips, camps, activities, get-togethers with family and summer vacations can be difficult. Plus figuring how to pay for all of this can be stressful. Especially, for those of us who are divorced or separated. Here are my top tips for navigating summer parenting time issues:
The dog days of summer are upon us and a lot of us are enjoying much needed getaways and vacation time with friends and family. In keeping with my “R” theme (check out my blog posts on Resolve, Readiness and Resilience) I want to focus on an under-rated but powerful tool not only for stress-relief but for getting centered; REST. Yes, you heard it. I’m advocating doing nothing.
One of my favorite movies is Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life. (If you haven’t seen it...what are you waiting for? It’s a classic for a reason!) That final scene when George Bailey’s friends all show up – never fails to bring a tear to my eye. But why is it that George’s inclination through the movie, like all of us do at times, is to feel that he has nowhere to turn, to disconnect himself from his friends and family and to try to go it alone. Why is it that in times of trouble we sometimes isolate ourselves at the moment we most need support? Why do we tend to forget that connection is key to our mental health and happiness?
When it comes to divorce, everyone has heard the time-honored phrases, “I’ll see you in court!” and “you’ll be hearing from my attorney.” But what a lot of people don’t know are that there are several options for how to resolve your divorce that don’t involve going to court. Attorneys call the method by which a divorce is conducted “dispute resolution”...
- Cost-Effective: Recent statistics from the American Bar Association indicate that mediating your divorce case will cost you 40-60% less than litigating your divorce case;
- It’s Better for Your Children: Mediation avoids your children being involved in the divorce litigation, reduces the overall stress on the family and allows your children to see their parents cooperating;
I read a gorgeous New York Times Article recently about Dr. B.J. Miller, a palliative care doctor, who became a doctor after becoming a triple amputee. He has become famous in the last 2 years from his 2015 TED talk entitled “What really matters at the end of life,” (which has about 5 million views). What struck me most about Dr. Miller is how in learning to embrace his injuries he learned the truth about what truly makes us whole. A truth that he uses to help dying people face death.
The question he asks of his dying patients with maybe only months, weeks or even days to live is “What is your favorite part of yourself?” “What do we want to protect as everything falls apart?”
When matrimonial issues arise, the world seems to come apart at the seams. Friends act oddly and the stress on the family is intense. At a time like this, the last thing needed is the feeling that you are alone and that you are just one more case to a big corporate law firm.
For this reason, Attorney Georgia Fraser opened her solo practice in 300 Carnegie Center on Route 1. “Having practiced in New Jersey for nearly 20 years, I have experienced the inflexibility and remoteness of large firms. Clients often come to me because they feel cut off from the lawyer they thought they hired. They only see an associate or paralegal and often realize that when they do get to court, the partner is only marginally aware of the details of their case.”