US1: Fraser Family Law Office LLC: Sensitive and Caring Representation

When matrimonial issues arise, the world seems to come apart at the seams. Friends act oddly and the stress on the family is intense. At a time like this, the last thing needed is the feeling that you are alone and that you are just one more case to a big corporate law firm.

For this reason, Attorney Georgia Fraser opened her solo practice in 300 Carnegie Center on Route 1. “Having practiced in New Jersey for nearly 20 years, I have experienced the inflexibility and remoteness of large firms. Clients often come to me because they feel cut off from the lawyer they thought they hired. They only see an associate or paralegal and often realize that when they do get to court, the partner is only marginally aware of the details of their case.”

“I firmly believe that divorce, custody and parenting time, and other relationship issues can be resolved efficiently and effectively with sensitivity and caring representation. Each case is unique and the service an attorney needs to provide must be highly personalized. Decisions cannot be made based on how much of the retainer remains,” Fraser states. “I am invested in my clients for the long term.”

“My extensive experience has given me insight into the real-life workings of the court system and taught me the pitfalls that lurk for the hasty. I want my clients to have the plain, unvarnished truth about the likelihood of success. Litigation is expensive; there’s no two ways about it. Mediation and well-planned settlements save anguish and family resources. Lives do not need to implode. Sound strategy works.”

Fraser’s practice covers a wide range of cases; primarily concentrating on divorce, custody and parenting time, post-judgment, and domestic violence cases. “Additional heartache can arise when, years after a divorce, situations change: children go to college, one of the parties retires, or one party refuses to comply. You want your lawyer to be there for you long after a judgment is entered.”

Fraser was counsel on one of the leading palimony cases in New Jersey. A certified mediator, she is also collaboratively trained and committed to helping achieve the best settlements possible. Experienced in cases addressing complex custody and parenting time issues, such as interstate and international custody disputes, she has been successful under The Hague Convention in obtaining the return of children abducted to international locations or wrongfully retained in the United States.

“I pride myself on being as much of a coach as an advocate for my clients. The psychology of divorce, with all its attendant hot buttons, leads many to waste their lives and money just on blind principle. My job is to take my client down this rocky road as securely as possible. Family law must focus on family.”

Georgia Fraser, Esq., Fraser Family Law Office, LLC, 300 Carnegie Center, Suite 150, Princeton. gfraser@fraserfamilylawoffice.com. 609-223-2099.

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5 Tips to Avoid Going Back to Court Post-Divorce

Sometimes the end of your divorce case is just the beginning of a long road of dealing with your ex-spouse. Maybe you have small children and will be co-parenting for many years, you have a home or retirement assets that you have to work together to divide or maybe you have support obligations that will have to be adjusted or revisited in the years following your divorce. The emotional and financial cost of continuously litigating with your ex-spouse is great and can dramatically impact your quality of life post-divorce. In my almost twenty years of practicing family law, the following are my most frequently recommended tips for avoiding unnecessary court costs and post-divorce conflict:

1. Lock-Down Important Details in Your Divorce Agreement or Settlement: Vague or open-ended provisions in agreements or settlements can sometimes lead to problems down the road and unnecessary trips back to the courthouse. Missing provisions in parenting time agreements or failure to establish deadlines for the sale of assets can create opportunities for conflict and can be costly to resolve. Make sure you discuss issues of concern with your family law attorney during your divorce process to ensure that your agreement does not have vague or ambiguous provisions;
2. Understand your Agreements or Orders:  Make sure that you not only understand the terms of your agreements before you sign them, but that you understand what your rights and obligations are after your divorce is over. Read through your agreement and make sure to make note of deadlines for such things as paying support or other court ordered obligations, re-financing mortgages, filing deeds, transferring titles, and exchanging insurance information. If there is something that you don’t understand, make sure to reach out to your family law attorney to discuss. Many times violations of court orders or enforcement motions to the court can be avoided if parties are proactive about understanding and cooperating with the  provisions of their agreements or terms of court orders.
3. Practice Good Faith Co-Parenting and Communication: Sometimes the acrimony of the divorce process can make it difficult to to communicate with your ex-spouse or to feel willing to offer compromises or concessions post-divorce. However, flexibility, compromise and respectful communication can be essential in avoiding unnecessary post-divorce conflict or expensive post-divorce court proceedings.  Whenever possible, try to work through changes to parenting time schedules, issues around extra-curricular activities or other issues involving your children amicably with your ex-spouse. Likewise, if changes occur with respect to financial aspects of your settlement, try to see if you can work it out with your spouse first before heading to the courthouse.
4. Get Informed: Before running to the courthouse to file a post-divorce application or sending demand letters to your ex-spouse, meet with a family law attorney to understand the applicable laws around your issue, the different legal options available to you and the cost of these options. Sometimes your attorney may be able to offer suggestions or solutions that can save you a lot of time, money and aggravation.
5. Consider Mediation or Other Alternative Dispute Resolution Options:  In situations where its not possible to communicate or resolve post-divorce issues directly with your ex-spouse, or where you have reached a stalemate in your discussions,  there are other alternatives to heading to court that I stronglyI encourage my clients to explore. Post-divorce mediation or arbitration can be a timely and cost-effective way to avoid the emotional and financial costs of litigating post-divorce issues and can allow parties to maintain some control over the outcome.

For assistance with a post-divorce issue, please contact Georgia Fraser at 609-223-2099.

Parenting Time Tips to Avoid Holiday Drama

One of my daughter’s favorite holiday books is Llama Llama Holiday Drama, about a little llama who gets overwhelmed by the holidays. Unfortunately, getting caught up in “holidrama,” isn’t just for little llamas.  Almost everyone experiences some form of their own “holidrama.” This is especially true if you are going through divorce or are sharing the holidays after a divorce. With competing personal, work, family and holiday obligations, the cost of gifts and entertaining, as well as our emotional expectations around time with family and holiday traditions- the holidays can be overwhelming. They can also create situations ripe for arguing over parenting time with your spouse or ex-spouse. My best advice is DON’T, if you can avoid it.  Not only will it cost you money in attorney’s fees, but it can also ruin your holidays and maybe your children’s holidays as well.

Here are my top Parenting Time Tips for Avoiding Holiday Drama:

1.   Work Out the Details of Holiday Schedules In Advance: Do not wait until the holiday week to realize that you don’t have a schedule.  Review your Marital Settlement Agreement or Custody/Parenting Time Order and speak to an attorney early to make sure that you have a detailed schedule for how you are going to share the holidays. Do this early so that you have time to work out any problems in advance. A detailed schedule avoids any confusion and emotionally fraught exchanges and helps to give everyone especially your children a sense of stability; 

2.   Be Cooperative and Flexible: Remember that co-parenting of your children will be a long relationship and that there are times when you will need concessions for your own schedule or to be flexible because it’s what is in your children’s best interests.  I always tell clients to pick their battles and not to fight over things that are fair and reasonable. I suggest that clients think about how they would want to be treated if the shoe were on the other foot. Remember that the more goodwill you create with the other parent, the easier co-parenting your children can become; 

3.   Fight the Right Battles Sooner Rather than Later:  With the above being said, sometimes the other parent is not putting the children’s best interests first or is being unreasonable in a way that threatens your children’s well-being. If you suspect that there will be problems during the holidays, talk to an attorney well in advance so that you have time to go to court if needed or to negotiate a resolution of the problem. Waiting till the last minute can mean that the court may not reach you in time for the holiday; 

4.   Coordinate Gift Giving:  Share your children’s holiday wish lists and coordinate gift giving so that you both feel included and share in costs. The more cooperative and easy Mom and Dad are through the holidays, the more your children can relax and enjoy both of you; 

5.   Remember Your Ex Will Always Be Your Children’s Parent: Remember that even though your relationship with the other parent may change, this person is still your child’s Mom or Dad.  Don’t speak badly of the other parent or their significant other. Rather, do everything you can to encourage your child’s relationship with their other parent.  Try to remember that the more people that love and support your children in their lives the better.  Mom and Dad (even ones that you might not think are so great) are an irreplaceable source of love.  Allow extra phone calls during the holidays, be flexible to allow changes to the parenting time schedule if your child misses their other parent and buy a gift from your children to their other parent; 

6.   Put Your Children’s Best Interests First:  As with the above tips, remember to always think about what is in your children’s best interests, even if it sometimes conflicts with what would make you personally happy. Don’t engage in arguments during parenting time exchanges or send messages through your children.  If your child is sick or tired, be cooperative to put your child first; 

7.   Create New Traditions: Your family life has changed due to divorce, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have new family traditions. Maybe you will be celebrating the holidays on a day other than the holiday itself or maybe you won’t be able to share traditions that you have always enjoyed with your extended family with your children. Make sure to create new traditions with your children. Filling your time with your children with fun and laughter is a good way to let any stress from the season roll right off; 

8.   Exercise Lots of Self-Care and Self-Compassion:  The holidays can be hard even under the best of circumstances. Remember to take time to take care of yourself.  You can’t give to your children and others if your tank is empty.  Spend time with friends and family, get rest (when you can- I know, I know it’s hard), and be easier on yourself. Maybe you are blaming yourself for the fact that your family is not together, you couldn’t make it to the Christmas concert, you weren’t able to bake 10,000 cupcakes for the school party, you can’t afford the must-have gift or you forgot to move the Elf on a Shelf and now your child thinks they’re on the naughty list- it’s okay. None of us are perfect. Be easy on yourself. The more self-care and self-compassion you show yourself this holiday season, the more bandwidth you will have to negotiate through holiday parenting time and not engage in “holidrama.”

To discuss any concerns about your holiday parenting time and learn how to avoid holiday drama, contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. of Fraser Family Law Office, LLC for a consultation. 609-223-2099.

Do I Need A Pre-Nup?

Yes, they can be seen as unromantic and unsexy, but they are SMART and not just for the mega-wealthy either.  Pre-nuptial or pre-marital agreements can help couples establish what happens in the event of divorce, death or how they want to handle the payment of expenses or the treatment of assets during their marriage.  For example, in a divorce setting these agreements can protect assets from being subject to equitable distribution (including later developed businesses or professional practices), they can establish a pre-determined amount of spousal support that can both limit liability for the partner paying but also offer assurance to the partner entitled to support and most of all they can offer certainty and reduce costs in the event of divorce or death.

These agreements are helpful in other ways too. They can actually have the effect of strengthening relationships by allowing couples to have difficult conversations about finances and financial expectations before they are married or by easing tensions in family dynamics by offering financial reassurance to family members or children of parties marrying later in life.  They also offer the opportunity for couples to have a better knowledge and understanding of the income, assets and debts that their partner may be bringing into a marriage. Information that is helpful in making sure that you are both on the same page from the beginning.

The other good news is that pre-marital agreements have become increasingly more enforceable in New Jersey. These agreements are governed by the Uniform Pre-Marital Agreement Act, which was enacted in New Jersey in 1988.  The New Jersey legislature made changes to the Act in 2013 to increase the enforceability of these agreements. These changes essentially removed the ability of a party to challenge the validity of a pre-nuptial agreement on the basis that it is “unconscionable at the time of enforcement.”

Under the law as revised in 2013, in order to challenge a pre-marital agreement, a party has to show that he or she:

(1)   Was not provided full and fair disclosure of the earnings, property, and financial obligations of the other party;(2)   Did not voluntarily and expressly waive, in writing, any right to disclosure of the property or financial obligations of the other party beyond the disclosure provided;(3)   Did not have, or reasonable could not have had, an adequate knowledge of the property or financial obligations of the other party; or (4)   Did not consult with independent legal counsel and did not voluntarily and expressly waive, in writing, the opportunity to consult with independent legal counsel.

For anyone considering a pre-marital agreement, this means that it is very important to seek the advice of an attorney to ensure that all of the procedural requirements under the law are met to make sure that your agreement is enforceable and that your rights are protected.

If you are contemplating marriage or have a wedding date on the calendar, find out how a pre-marital agreement might help protect you in the future. Contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. of Fraser Family Law Office, LLC for a consultation. (609)223-2099

            

Readiness: Stepping Into a New Beginning.

This year I realized that I was ready for a new beginning. That new beginning was the creation of my own law practice after many years in private practice. New beginnings can be scary and filled with anxiety. They require us to step into the unknown. What I realize from my personal experience, and in my work as a family lawyer helping others, is that in order to step into a new beginning you have to be ready to face uncertainty and change. Some of us choose to step into a new beginning for ourselves, while others get forced into it by circumstance; tragedy, painful endings, betrayals, or crisis.  But either way, we all have to become “ready,” at some point to face a new beginning.

Artists, poets and writers have spoken to this sense of readiness as an openness to life and to the unknown. The poet and theologian John O’Donahue eloquently wrote that “often when something is ending we discover within it a spore of new beginning, and a whole new train of possibility is in motion before we even realize it. When the heart is ready for a fresh beginning, unforeseen things can emerge.”

In my work I see a lot of endings and walk with a lot of people during the most uncertain times in their lives.  But I also see the opening that endings offer; the cracking open that being broken or hurt can create. It can be an awakening. It can be an invitation back to who you really are and who you want to be. Endings can offer the opportunity to stop and assess the direction you are going in and invite you to consider new possibilities.

In writing on new beginnings, John O’Donahue asked the question “what is the new horizon in you waiting to be seen?” We can only answer that question when we step forward into the unknown and into the invitation of a new beginning.

When you are ready to talk, contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. of Fraser Family Law Office LLC, (609) 223-2099.

What Happens to Support When an Obligor Loses His Job And Obtains A Lower Paying Job?

Generally speaking, unless the parties have otherwise agreed, spousal support obligations are always modifiable based upon a showing of a material change in circumstances. (Lepis v. Lepis).  Obviously, the loss of employment by the paying spouse can constitute such a material change in circumstance. The issue of modification of spousal support when an obligor loses employment and obtains lesser employment was specifically addressed in the September 10, 2014 amendment to the alimony statute. N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(k) in order to create uniformity in how courts deal with this issue.  

This amendment has been open to interpretation and has recently been intelligently explained in the trial court decision of Mills v. Mills written by Judge L.R. Jones of Ocean County (and approved for publication on October 7, 2016). The Mills case is instructive as to what standard applies when an obligor loses his job and seeks a reduction or modification of a support obligation based upon obtaining a lower- paying job.  This case helps interpret the 2014 amendment to the NJ alimony statute N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(k) by finding that when an obligor loses his jobs and obtains replacement employment at a substantially lower salary that the Court in addition to looking at the ten (10) factors established by the statutory amendment in considering a modification application must essentially look to two questions: (1) was the choice to take a lower paying job reasonable under the totality of the circumstances and (2) if so, what if any resulting adjustment of support is fair and reasonable to both parties.

An interesting part of this case is that the Court interprets the September 2014 amendment to the alimony statute as applying to cases even if the parties divorced prior to the amendment (i.e. that the statute can be retroactively applied) so long as the parties did not have a written agreement applying a different standard or the issue has not already been litigated or adjudicated by the Court.

To learn how this case may impact your payment or receipt of support please contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. of Fraser Family Law Office, LLC to schedule your consultation. (609)223-2099.  

New Domestic Violence Case Finds that Inherently Violent Nature of Some Acts of Domestic Violence Are Self-Evident of Need For Final Restraining Order.

The Appellate Division opinion of A.M.C. v. P.B, released for publication on October 21, 2016 finds that a Trial Court misapplied the two-prong test for determining whether the issuance of Final Restraining Order is necessary (set forth in the landmark domestic violence case Silver v. Silver which requires in its second prong that the Court find that a domestic violence restraining order is necessary to protect a victim from future abuse). The Trial Court had found that the defendant had perpetrated acts of domestic violence, in this case, the assault of the victim on two separate occasions in a three- week period, including a physical assault that took place to prevent the victim from leaving the marital residence. But then determined that a Final Restraining Order was not necessary because it was not necessary to protect the victim from further acts of domestic violence because they believed that the parties’ relationship had ended when the victim left the marital residence because there were no children of the relationship and the fact that the defendant had no violated the TRO (which had not been served upon him) after the victim left the marital residence.  

The Appellate Division found in A.M.C. that the inherent violent nature of the acts against the victim, that were done to prevent her from leaving, along with the history of domestic violence and threats of further violence rose to the level of such acts that are “self-evident” of the need to protect the victim from further acts of domestic violence.  As such, the Appellate Division reversed the decision of the Trial Court and found that the victim was entitled to a Final Restraining Order.

This case helps to narrow the broad reading of Silver that sometimes leaves victims of domestic violence without protection, by giving more weight in the Silver analysis to cases involving acts of domestic violence that are inherently more violent in nature.

Domestic violence proceedings have serious implications for both the victim as well as the person accused of committing domestic violence.  Our office handles domestic violence cases and has worked with pro bono domestic violence organizations in both Mercer and Hunterdon County.  Contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. at Fraser Family Law Office, LLC. for a consultation to discuss your domestic violence matter.  (609)223-2099.

Resilience: Getting Through

When I was in college I conducted an oral history of the Holocaust. I interviewed women and men who had survived the most unthinkable and unspeakable things. The overwhelming and amazing lesson was not what they had tragically endured, but how they had endured it.  How their spirits had survived when maybe others had given up hope.  Resilience.  Resilience is defined as essentially the ability to get back up when you get knocked down. And in study after study researchers have come to learn that resilience is the single biggest predictor of future success. 

So like my previous post on resolve, I ask the question, where does resilience come from? Is it a skill that we can learn or something innate to who we are? There are people that I meet as a Family lawyer who have the most indomitable spirits; who survive abuse and tragedy, who negotiate daily living under impossible circumstances and who re-bound from set-backs big and small.  There are others who get deeply stuck and are unable to move on.  So how do we cultivate resilience to get through life, to deal with divorce or other hard family law issues?

The poet David Whyte has said that “the cure for exhaustion isn’t always rest, its wholeheartedness.”  To live with wholeheartedness is to search out what makes us feel deeply alive. As we know that when we lose connection to our own spirit – we feel numb to the world around us, we lose resolve, and oftentimes we become physically weakened and sick.  Brene' Brown describes wholeheartedness as embracing our vulnerability and uncertainty, and that the path to wholeheartedness is ultimately about the “care and feeding of our spirits.”

I realize that a lot of time what is asked of individuals going through divorce or family law issues is to come up with a plan for the future when they are emotionally and mentally exhausted and have not yet connected with a sense of hope, or courage, or wholeheartedness. And what I learned from those survivors and all of the survivors that I meet everyday is that resilience is not necessarily about making big changes or crafting far-reaching plans, but rather is the steady commitment to a habit of staying present, of holding gratitude, and doing the things that make us feel wholehearted. I encourage you to start there.

If you’re ready to talk about getting through a divorce or another family law issue, please contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. at Fraser Family Law Office LLC, 609-223-2099

Will the NJ Supreme Court Permit Equitable Distribution of a Post-Divorce Bonus in a Short-Term Marriage Based Upon Cohabitation Prior to Marriage?

On September 26, 2016 the New Jersey Supreme Court heard oral argument in the case of Thieme v. Aucoin-Thieme involving a dispute over whether a $2.25M post-divorce bonus was subject to equitable distribution in a short term marriage of fourteen months, due to the fact that the parties had lived together eight years before the marriage and the bonus had been “earned” during that period.  Among the issues to be considered by the Supreme Court is whether an asset acquired during the period of cohabitation should be subject to equitable distribution.  Although not presently contemplated under the equitable distribution statute, defendant’s counsel has argued that this is an issue of “equity.”  Stay tuned for the outcome of this very interesting case, which may potentially change the nature of equitable distribution in cases involving a period of cohabitation prior to the marriage.

For more information or for assistance with a family law matter, please contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. of Fraser Family Law Office at (609)223-2099.

How Do You Know When You're Ready? Building Resolve.

Lately I have talked to more and more clients and people that I consult with about the issue of resolve.  An issue that we all grapple with, whether we are going through divorce or not.  How do any of us know when we are ready? Ready to leave a job.  Get married. Have a child. Buy a house. Make a change. Or end a relationship.  In my work I have the blessing of sitting with and helping people at the hardest time of their lives. Oftentimes I deal with victims of domestic violence, who want to leave but are deeply afraid of being physically harmed or of not having enough money to survive on their own.  Or Fathers and Mothers who feel they cannot end a marriage because they are afraid that their partner will try to take away custody of their children. 

In these moments, I see the commonality of our human experience. Everyone is afraid at some time in their life. Everyone can feel stuck; like they cannot choose any of the options before them.  I often tell people that come into my office that I cannot give them resolve.  That they must bring it with them. That only they know when they are ready. But where does resolve come from? How do you find that spark of certainty?  Most religions believe that something transcendent must intervene in order to free us from these moments and give us clarity and resolve. It is the universal concept of Grace that is present in the teachings of almost every world religion.  It’s akin to an awakening of a kind of spiritual intelligence or interior life that reconnects us to our higher good.  To how we truly want to spend our lives. What our purpose here is.  And when it arrives -its like a small spark of certainty that ignites into a sure feeling in our gut that we are ready. That we know not only what we want to do, but that we are ready to do it.

I encourage the people that I meet with and speak to, who are not ready, who want to leave, but don’t know how, to get informed and understand what will most likely happen in their case legally, but then to take the time to find resolve. To be sure they are ready.  The question of how to awaken that spiritual intelligence is different for everyone. So I encourage them to talk regularly to a counselor, trusted friend or family member.    If they are religious- then maybe through their faith. But to feed their spirit good things for a bit, just the way you would feed a malnourished body good foods to heal. Reconnect with friends that maybe they have lost touch with. Remember to do the things that used to make them happy or bring them joy. For one special client, this was spending time riding horses.  To spend time with people who make them feel uplifted and connected. To stay connected with their “team” who can provide support and encouragement (financially or otherwise). To get back in touch with that quiet voice inside that maybe warned them at the beginning or along the way in a relationship that there were signs of things that just didn’t feel right.  And to learn to listen to that voice until its loud of enough to speak with certainty. With resolve. 

When you're ready, please contact Georgia Fraser, Esq. of Fraser Family Law Office at (609)223-2099.