I find that it is in giving my time or talent to something or someone that I care about that I receive the great gift that comes from giving; connection, gratitude and sometimes even a kind of grace.
One of my daughter’s favorite holiday books is Llama Llama Holiday Drama, about a little llama who gets overwhelmed by the holidays. Unfortunately, getting caught up in “holidrama,” isn’t just for little llamas. Almost everyone experiences some form of their own “holidrama.” This is especially true if you are going through divorce or are sharing the holidays after a divorce. With competing personal, work, family and holiday obligations, the cost of gifts and entertaining as well as our emotional expectations around time with family and holiday traditions- the holidays can be overwhelming. They can also create situations ripe for arguing over parenting time with your spouse or ex-spouse. My best advice is DON’T, if you can avoid it. Not only will it cost you money in attorney’s fees, but it can also ruin your holidays and maybe your children’s holidays as well.
Lately I have talked to more and more clients and people that I consult with about the issue of resolve. An issue that we all grapple with, whether we are going through divorce or not. How do any of us know when we are ready? Ready to leave a job. Get married. Have a child. Buy a house. Make a change. Or end a relationship. In my work I have the blessing of sitting with and helping people at the hardest time of their lives. Oftentimes I deal with victims of domestic violence, who want to leave but are deeply afraid of being physically harmed or of not having enough money to survive on their own. Or Fathers and Mothers who feel they cannot end a marriage because they are afraid that their partner will try to take away custody of their children.